[This post was written on my laptop in the car on the way home from the village. Apologies for the length, I just had to tell it all!]
This wedding was one of the most fun and crazy experiences I have ever had. Turkish people are insane and the partying bordered riot levels.
We woke up yesterday morning and it was immediately obvious that we had jumped a little past the “just guest” mode. Yasmin shooed us downstairs and it was obvious that she was trying to get us to hurry. I can only imagine how busy she was with all the events going on. We went downstairs and to the open tent in the driveway area and sat down next to all the uncles and cousins at a table filled with all our favorite village breakfast foods. We chowed down on nutella, hazelnut better, tomatoes and cucumbers honey and of course bred cheese and sausage things. Soon we found out that the groom was to have the ceremony of blessing the grooms clothes. The men ran about all yelling about who was going in which car and I think they were also running late. Tim and I slipped into one of the cars and we headed to the village mosque. Once we got there the groom and his best man went inside. I was unsure whether or not I should go in, but a grandpa motioned for Tim and I to come in. We took off our shoes, as is custom, and walked in. At the front of the mosque the groom and his best man sat with the imam with a small pile of clothes, a jacket, head covering and arm band thing. As a few more uncles filed in we took our seats right next to the grandpa that had led us in and watched as the Imam blessed the clothing, waving each article around the groom’s head three times. He said Mohamed, so I’m guessing it was a blessing from Mohamed or something. After the clothes were blessed everyone began to pray. Again, I was unsure what I was supposed to do. The men had all lifted their hands in prayer and started chanting. Mehmet, our bus driver, was in a different part of the mosque and just gestured for me to copy the hands so I did. I just sat quietly and in my head thought of some good wishes for the groom and then did the motion of washing over the face just like the other men. Hamza told me later that they were praying that the groom and bride have a lifetime of sharing the same cushion, so I figure I was at least thinking along the same lines.
After the praying was done, the groom went around and thanked the guests he shook all of our hands and we did the customary forehead touching where you touch temples with the other person. As we left the mosque the imam announced something over the loudspeaker system and the first shots were fired by a man sitting outside his window right by the mosque. The groom and his best man went around the village and visited different relatives. The custom is that they give him their blessing and slip money into his pockets. We saw different people slipping money into his pants at the mosques. At the end of the day he empties his pockets and sees how much he got. I think this style of giving is great because it keeps the sentiment without making things awkward when comparing amounts from different relatives.
Tim and I returned to Yasmin’s house with Hamza and met up with the girls just as they were finishing up breakfast. We decided we’d spend the morning going around the village with Hamza. As we walked around Hamza explained to us what it was like growing up in the village and what his shepherding days were like. He pointed out the different mountains and which ones areas belonged to which “tribes”. Apparently it was all divided into different territories for different family groups. He recounted a story about catching a bunch of kids from another tribe playing in his tribe’s lake and then messing with them by throwing all their clothes in the water. Inter-group conflict happened, but didn’t sound like the gang fights were too bad. We wandered over to Hamza’s mom’s house and to the neighbors who lived behind. The man of the household was one of the last shepherds in the village. Hamza told us that as the years went by the village became more and more modern. The nearby town of Niglde opened up a university and immediately the standard of living rose, education and literacy levels jumped and the economy boosted up. This shepherd was definitely older. Hamza started shepherding when he was 14, but this man was in his 50s or 40s. We took turns trying to milk the sheep. The women usually do the milking and were able to show us a little bit of their skill. I was almost tried into trying to milk a male sheep, but I caught on before trying to do anything. Chelsea was pooped on when she was milking her sheep.
After the milking fun, we headed up towards the mountains that Hamza used to shepherd in. Along the way up we passed many homes with fruit trees that hung over the house walls. Hamza
I remember Yukiko was telling us that the Turkish people and the environment have a really bad relationship. The Turkish farmers have agricultural techniques that dry up the land because it drastically lowers the water tables. From what I’ve seen so far on our road trips I don’t find that hard to believe. Yukiko told us that Turkey is naturally supposed to have 70% of the land under forest cover. Because o f the poor use of water, only 12% remains forested. On the way to the village we stopped at a lake, which was apparently a beautiful site that a lot of locals liked to stop at for the foliage and lake scene. I’d call it more of a pond with a few trees. I would love to take Hamza and some of the villagers to Clark Lake.
Anyways, we went to the water house. Hamza and a few of the students walked up to the top of the hill, but Yukiko and some students and I sat on the roof of the house, enjoying the nice breeze and lazing about. The sky was mostly cloudy but every so often the clouds would break and we could get a few seconds of sun. Ayla complained that she wanted her dad and proceeded to walk halfway up the hill before we convinced her to stop and wait for the dad to come back down. We got called back to Yasmins for lunch so we headed back.
Lunch was delicious, as usual. We got back and the drive way area was lined with tables and chairs. There were a solid group of around 40 people, but there were plenty of chairs so I wasn’t worried. Yukiko told use that we ‘d better save seats for them or else they would go fast. I grabbed a seat while people went inside for the bathroom and I laid a few of my stuff over chairs. Within a few minutes a small group of boys came over to me and starting talking to me. Using my limited Turkish, I was able to figure out their names and ages. I looked down the table to see that everyone had started sitting down. Somehow a ton of people had come in and the seats were filling up fast. I shooed away the boys out of the other students’ seats and we had a great lunch.
Afterward we realized we were all dead tired and went up into the house to the living room area to rest for a bit. Originally I think we were just planning on sitting, but we ended up all falling asleep on the carpeted seats. Helen and I were the last two to wake up around 4, and after grumbling for a bit decided we’d go outside and check out what was happening. Within 30 minutes of waking up from the nap I was dragged into dancing with the groom and a series of uncles and elderly grandpas. A live band played music the whole day and the relatives kept dragging us to more and more dances. I guess I can dance rather well. The girls separated from us, the men danced under the tent and the girls danced at the side of the house. Several times relatives would put money in our mouths between our teeth. The money went to the groom in the end I think. After a little bit of dancing, Hamza pulled us aside to the back of the house and let use try out his shotgun. Unlike the guns we tried out the night before this gun was real. We fired a few shots each into the mountains and laughed and hooted. Hamza then said he’d show us around a bit.
We piled into Hamza's car, 5 people in the 3 person back seat. Hamza zoomed us around the roads and blared a variety of songs on his speakers; everything from rap to the Rolling Stones. We took turns sticking our heads out the windows and the sunroof and hollered out to random pedestrians. We ended up going into the town and buying more ammunition for the shotgun. On the way back to Yasmin’s, Hamza pulled over and we fired a few more shots. We’ve all decided that we want guns at our weddings.
Instead of going straight to Yasmin's, we ended up going to Fatma’s house for some special tea. Hamza was with us in Istanbul on the night of our birthday party and according to Yukiko was quite the fun man himself back in the day. He was hoping to arrange a special table for us at the wedding and bought a nice collection of spirits for the occasion. At Fatma's he mixed up the very traditional Turkish limon Bacardi and Coca Cola for us in tea cups and we got well spirited and Fatma supplied us with delicious cheese made in the village. Yukiko eventually called us over for dinner and we went back to Yasmin’s.
Dinner was very windy, and I started off the meal with Yukiko’s flying soup in my lap. I quickly changed in the attic and headed back down for another great meal. After dinner we packed into the van and headed over to the bride’s town for what I thought was the dowry box and henna party. I think those are usually reserved for women, but the men said to go ahead and go and if we had to leave then we would just go somewhere else. Well we left in a convoy of cars stretching a good 20 cars deep. People honked and hooted out their car windows as we drove to and through the town. Eventually we reached a point where the streets were horribly narrow and it was easier to walk than drive so we all jumped out of the car and headed to the party.
Yukiko warned us that the wedding would be crowded, but up until that point I didn’t really think the wedding was horribly crowded. I wasn’t pushed up against people and definitely had enough space for a personal bubble, but as we walked to the bride’s party I realized that I had just seen the groom's side. The bride’s part was in the middle of the street. Huge speakers blared live music and the mass of bodies in the middle of the street was huge. Arms and fingers flew everywhere and people swayed their hips to the rhythm. We were quickly dragged to the middle of the circle next to the groom and bride and were encouraged to dance with them. I took my turn with dancing with the bride, but I felt a little of out place. Yukiko told us later that they wanted everyone to see that foreigners had come all the way to come to the wedding and that it was considered prestigious to have us there, which is why we were pushed to the middle. Eventually it got too much for me and I escaped out to the edge with the other students and we walked over to the side of the road to sit with our feet over the wall. Some one started setting off fireworks ridiculously close. They exploded right over our heads with some pieces flying over the crowd. It was great to see all the colors, but soon we noticed that a piece fell into the dry brush and started a small fire. Slowly people gathered around the edge of the wall and watched as the fire got bigger and bigger. No one seemed to know how to put it out, some boys were even throwing in more branches into the fire. We decided that we should probably leave. Yukiko was saying that if the fire got out of hand we would probably get trampled so after a few moments of desperately getting together we started back towards the ban. Other people started back to their cars too, so we headed back. We made it half way there when the DJ announced over the loudspeakers that the fire was put out and the party was continuing. We looked at each other for a little bit and were semi-confused as to what we should do, but eventually we decided we’d go back.
The party continued with awesome music and great dancing. Again we were dragged into the middle. This time the dancing was segmented by a number of small ceremonies. One time a cake was brought out with candles and the groom and bride blew them out and fed each other some cake. Another time someone lit a firecracker sparkling fountain in the middle of the crowd and people danced around it with candles and a tray of candles and henna. Bushra and her little sister Iten grabbed blobs of henna and drew circles on our hands. Fire and hands were everywhere, but it was a lot of fun. Apparently people were getting a little feisty and antsy because the grooms’ family wasn’t getting access to the henna or something so the party moved back to the grooms house. Instead of staying there for long we decided we would get our beds set up and everything first since we were changing hoses for the night. We gathered up our backpacks and went over to Fatma’s house. After setting up our beds and things Hamza brought out some of his Mandarin flavored spirits and broke out the tea cups again. Yukiko joined us with her cup of milk and we drank and laid out on the porch under the stars watching fireworks burst over Yasmin’s house and listening to the loud music and gunshots fill the air. We ended up not making it back to the party, but still had a great time just enjoying the sounds and sights of the village. Helen sang an aria for us as we laid down and looked up at the stars.
This morning we woke up early with the sun shining in the window. We lazed about for an hour or so in the morning. Playing with Ayla and helping her pick out her outfit for the day. Breakfast was of course amazing. A neighbor came over with fresh yogurt made from the milk that was collected the day before from the same goats that we tried to milk. He also brought cucumbers from his garden. Everything was delicious and tasted so fresh. We packed up our stuff and were working on cleaning up to go over to Yasmin’s and say goodbye. Hamza turned on his car radio and we ended up having another dance party of our own on the front porch of Fatma’s house. The neighboring houses stared noticing us and we saw they were peeking out through their windows and clapping and tooting little horns. Eventually the whole mass of neighbors wandered over and watched us dancing on the porch. A little boy who was trying to get us to pay him to get a donkey for us to ride the day before broke out of the crowd and started dancing on the ground. We moved down and danced with him, Hamza switched the music to Turkish tunes and we had a few fun dance battles.
Eventually we made it over to Yasmin’s house again. We sat around for a bit and met her mom and a few other relatives who were just coming in, or who we had missed the day before. We slowly made our way out of the house, looking at the horse prepared in the backyard for the bride to ride around the village later. At one point I saw some boys bring in a sheep into the front yard area. I whipped out my camera and one of the boys motioned for me to follow and take pictures. I ended up in the under part of the house and realized that he wanted me to take pictures of the slaughtering when he pulled out a hammer of sorts and motioned that he was going to hit it on the head. Luckily the sheep somehow broke free of its bindings and the lesson in slaughtering quickly became a mad dash out of the basement as quickly as we could. The boy shut the door behind him and I can only guess that they will take care of the sheep later.
Hamza dragged us to the dance floor again and we danced with the groom and a few other men in circles. After some parting moves we were called over to leave and went to the van. We exchanged goodbyes and hugs and left the village for the last time.
Now we are in the car again headed back to Gazipasa. The estimated 10 hour drive only took us 8.5 hours last time and I’m hoping for the same this time. The village is amazing and Yasmin told me t hat I had to comeback. I could only reply with my new phrase belki, maybe. I’d love to come back, but we’ll see. Yukiko says that we will be the talk of the town for the next 30 years. The foreigners who came to the wedding and danced like crazy people/ Yasmin and Ismail seem to have taken a liking for me and if I return I can only hope that my Turkish will be better so I can actually have solid conversations with them instead of sign language sessions aided with phrasebooks. Yukiko has told us stories of Yasmin as a teenager. Apparently she is one of the few older women who actually studied all the way through high school. She wears a shelvar and headscarf now, but back in the day she pushed the limit with uncovered hair and jeans. Apparently that all changed when she fell in love with Ismail and decided that she would give up all that for him. I would love to be able to have a conversation with her.
The village is such a wonderful place, but as the rest of Turkey modernizes, it seems like they are becoming less and less important. People live in the village homes half the time and in the city the other half of the time. Young boys and girls are all running away into the city in search of better jobs and who knows what will happen to the shepherding. Hamza tells us that carpet weaving is already almost gone. Women used to hand make all their carpets, and every home had a loom, but now no one has a loom and all the carpets are machine made. Interesting how urbanization and growing economy changes this so drastically. The neighbors of Fatma just moved to the city last year for the first time, and apparently the girls all came back in skinny jeans and make up, abandoning their shelvars and head scarves.
I’m so glad that I was able to make it back to the village for the wedding. It was truly a unique experience and one that I won’t forget. All the festivities were most definitely worth the few hours in the car. Plus now I have a few ideas for my own wedding. I just need to get a shotgun.
